Sunday, June 15, 2014




Excerpt from Daniel Ruyter blog Memories of a Single Dad

The words ‘dad’ and ‘father’ are very similar on the surface and yet, I think to many people they hold very different meanings. Father’s Day seems to ignite something in a lot of people as it did with me as well.

What’s the difference between the words “dad” and “father”? Can they be used interchangeably? Are they basically the same thing?

I say NO, they are not the same thing and I’ll tell you why. Whether you agree or disagree on what I see as the difference between a dad and a father, I’d love it if you would share your thoughts in the comments below.

First, Let’s Define Dad

Here’s Google’s definition of “dad”:
definition of dad parenting popular posts divorce  Definition of Dad vs. Father and Asserting a Fathers Right to Parent

I disagree, Google. There is a difference between being a dad and a father.
A dad is someone that is there for his children.  A dad watches and actively participates in their lives.  A dad helps them grow up, raises them, nurtures them, attends dance recitals and baseball games and is present.

Next, Let’s Define Father

A dad is someone that is there for his children. A father is something else; a father is more of a biological term than a role or relationship.

On the surface you’d think the definitions between dad and father would be the same – but they’re not. They are very different, in fact.
A father is something else; a father is more of a biological term than a role or relationship.  A father is a the birds and bees version of a parent. They are a reproductive assistant, if you will.  Father’s need only contribute the biological components necessary to produce the child.  After that, the their role and obligation to the child is over.

A father doesn’t need to be present to have a have a child.  They don’t need to participate to make their biological contribution.  A father doesn’t need to be present to be a father. Therein lies the difference when attempting to define the difference between a dad and a father. Of course, this distinction is my own and you may or may not agree or buy into my differences. Though, I know there are single moms out there that know there’s a distinctive difference between the two. They see every single day what the differences are between being a dad and being a father mean to their child’s life.

Saturday, May 17, 2014


1) Do you know how to water ski?

Yes. Only tried it one time, age 12. Got up first time and went for a long while. Surprised me so much I fell and didn't let go of the rope, ouch. But I skied.

2) Do you have 2014 vacation plans? 

Nope, not at the moment.

3) Do you have a passport?

Yes I do.

4) If you took a 7-night cruise, could you completely unplug -- no phone calls, no texts, no internet?
Yes, but I would want my Kindle so I could read.

5) Do you own a travel alarm clock?

No not exactly. I have my cell phone with an alarm clock on it.

6) Though the Go-Gos broke up in 1985, they frequently reunite for live performances. What's the last concert you attended?

Casting Crowns! An awesome event!

7) Their first hit was "Our Lips Are Sealed."  Can you be trusted with a secret? 

Most of the time. Just being honest. But with my profession, absolutely.

8) In 1982, when this song was popular, the comedy Tootsie was in theaters. What movie makes you laugh?
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, with John Candy and Steve Martin

9) Sam is chewing on a Tums as she composes these questions. What's the last over-the-counter that you took? 
Gaviscon! Works great.

Saturday, April 13, 2013



Dear Mr. Ward,

I'm coming to you many years past the time I could talk to you face to face, but never to late to express what I wanted to say. The day you announced who the majorettes would be my senior year was one of immense pain and discouragment for me. I understand now that it was a consolation prize to offer me the position of "Head Pom Pom Girl."

Being a majorette was a very prized and prestigious position at our school. I longed and waited patiently to get a position on that team all the way up through my senior year. I don't understand why I was passed over that day. Of all the students in band, I was of the most faithful, dedicated, and serious band members from the time I was in the 4th grade. Playing my trumpet, showing up by bus at 6 am three to four times a week during school to practice was something I never missed. There wasn't a parade or concert I ever missed or came unprepared with my part.

I was not the most beautiful nor the most graceful girl in band. By no means was I as popular. But I cannot fathom why I gave so much to your expectations, Mr. Ward, and so much love and dedication to music and our band, that I was denied one thing I needed you to say to me that day, "You have been faithful and you deserve to be on the majorette team."

Here is the respone I know now I should have given instead of silently dying inside and passively accepting the consolation position:

Mr. Ward, I have wanted to be a majorette since the day I started band in the 4th grade. I have served contently three years of high school now as a second rate pom pom girl. I now have enough self esteem and a sense of fairness to tell you that I decline the position of "head pom pom girl." I will put on the old hot wool uniforms along with my other band members, and march with my trumpet, proud that I have done a darn wonderful job for 9 years with passion, purpose, and dignity.

Your music student, Bobbi Jo

Sunday, July 15, 2012


I am a Christian first of all. My conscience and intent will always defer to the Word of God, the words of Jesus Christ. I am a politcal conservative and I uphold the Constitution of the United States and the Bill of Rights on which this nation was founded. I believe that drastic change in our political environment is needed, which all those with political interest will agree. However, I believe the necessary and successful change can be brought about without disregard and revocation of our Constitution and patriotism. Why throw out the baby with the bath water?

I believe I am being stereotyped as a Christian conservative because I do not agree with our President of the United States, Barach O'Bama. I am convinced he is a narcissist with his own agenda which is not in the best interest of America. I am not a racist. I love and befriend people of any gender, race, creed, or orientation. The fact is, Barach O'Bama is not African-American at all. He is Bi-racial, just as much Caucasian as he is African. If he were totally Caucasian my opinion of him would not be any different than it is at this moment. I was profoundly disappointed when Herman Cain was blasted out of the GOP running for past moral indisgressions. Like no other political figure has ever committed such an atrocity! I would have voted for him had he been nominated as the GOP candidate. I am now praying that Mitt Romney will choose Condoleezza Rice as his running mate for the 2012 election. Let's get real here, whether we like it or not, this would be a "racial" advantage because the current administration, all of it, and voters alike have made much of the political issues about race.

I remember in December of 2008 when George Bush was speaking at a press conference in Bagdad, Iraq at the Prime Minister's Palace. An Iraqi journalist took off both his shoes and threw them at George Bush, who had to sway and duck to keep from being hit in the head. This action of throwing one's shoe at another in the middle east region is a derogatory gesture meaning "You dog." Muntadhar al-Zaide, the Iraqi who threw the shoes was taken to the floor by another Iraqi journalist and then removed from the building and let go. Later George Bush was asked to comment on the incident. He said, "I didn't have much time to reflect on anything, I was ducking and dodging. I'm not angry with the system. I believe that a free society is emerging, and a free society is necessary for our own security and peace"; he added, "I don't think you can take one guy throwing his shoes as representative of the people of Iraq." I wonder what would happen if someone threw a shoe at Barach O'Bama as he spoke in a public press conference. More than likely it would be seen as a "hate crime." The responsible party would be taken into custody and several million dollars or more would be appropriated to increase security for Mr. O'Bama and his family. Same act, two different American presidents, two very likely different responses.

I am disappointed that I am stereotyped as an O'Bama hater, NoBama, Bible thumper, rebeller against change, supporting inaction rather than change, being a racist because I do not think Barach O'Bama is a good president, being supportive of protecting the rich elite, and being responsible for the tragic state of the decaying American society. I am seen as one who has been duped by right wing scare tactics like I don't take the time to educate myself on all political views.

I respect the right of every American to have a political view, even if it differs from mine. I'm just asking that mine be respected. Isn't that what Democracy is all about? Or am I being pigeon holed by far left liberals who want to live in a Socialist society?

Thanks for letting me ramble on with my thoughts and beliefs. God bless America!

Saturday, May 12, 2012


I know I always use the same picture of my mom for Mother's Day. I have later pics prior to her passing on New Year's Eve 1992. Those pictures make me sad. I watched this beautiful woman get overtaken by Rheumatoid Arthritis throughout her body. She would cry out in pain. I stood by her side when my dad left her for another woman after 32 years of marriage. I saw her lose all but about 30% of her vision to Glaucoma back in 1969. She lost 75% of her hearing from a fungal ear infection that was treated wrong. She was riddled with Osteoporosis and started breaking bones in her 50's. By the age of 65 she had Dowager's (sp) Hump so bad it looked like her head was coming out of her chest. She went from a walker to a wheelchair. Then in 1990 she had a severe stroke that left her paralyzed totally on the right side. She spent the last two years of her life in a nursing home that she hated because she needed 24/7 medical care. Through all of that, over all those years, my mom never lost her faith in God. She never complained and never asked God "why." She never let a day go by that she didn't pray for all of us kids and grandkids. My mom taught me to trust God no matter what comes my way, good or bad. She left me the greatest legacy a mom could leave. Total faith in a God who never leaves or forsakes us. I miss her now, but I will see her again and we will be together forever. Happy Mother's day Mama, from your baby girl, Bobbi

Sunday, April 8, 2012



Friday, April 6, 2012


Coming up on Resurrection Day, we are reminded of the glorious miracle of the birth, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. It it were not for those events, we would be lost with no hope.

I have a wonderful miracle to share that isn't as far reaching as that of our Lord's, but it is a testimony that He is still in the miracle business and it still brings Him glory.

Here is my story of the true miracle that took place yesterday:

My husband had a bowel resection in June 2011 in which is entire Sigmoid colon was removed. They were able to reattach, praise God. Things were going along fairly well until around the holidays 2011. At that time, he began to have trouble getting his body waste to pass through. With the help of many laxatives, stimulators, and fiber products, he was able to eliminate enough it kept him from seeking medical attention.

His condition worsened until he was becoming more confined to the house and was having increased pain in the area where his colon was reconnected. It was time to get to the doctor. His PCP sent him for a CAT scan. When the results came back it stated that there was a significant stricture at the prior surgery site. My husband called his Gastroenterologist and told him what his symptoms were and what the CAT scan revealed. This doctor got him in for an appointment the next day.

While we were in the Gastroenterologist's office, he came in and said he had studied the CAT scan and saw a severe stricture that looked like it was not allowing anything but liquid (and that in small amounts) to eliminate. He said this had to be taken care of as soon as possible. He had us wait in his office while he went to make a call to the surgeon who had done my husband's prior colon surgery. The surgeon said get him in my office in the morning by 7:45 am.

We were in the surgeon's office at the designated time. He told us he had gone over the symptoms and had studied the CAT scan. He said there was a definite stricture there and had to be stretched or removed. He wanted to do the surgery the next day but wanted it done at the hospital because surgery was highly possible and he needed to have access to everything needed to take more colon out and try a reconnect again. He told us it might not be possible to reconnect, which would mean a colostomy bag. If the stretching procedure tore the colon, it could result in death.

After we got home, we prayed asking God for healing, but letting Him know we would accept whatever His will was. On the 5th of April, yesterday, we were at the hospital, my husand had prepped just like one does for a colonoscopy. The surgeon scheduled my husband last because he wasn't sure what he was going to have to do: either do the ballon stretching to open the stricture which would take about 15 minutes or perform sugery to remove the stricture and reconnect if possible which would take at least 2 hours.

After 40 minutes the "surgery" was done. The surgeon took me in a room and showed me a picture of the colon where the stricture was seen in the CAT scan. He said, "I don't understand it. There is nothing there. This is one of the most heatlhy colons I have ever seen. There is no stricture there. I dont' get it, because the CAT scan definitely showed a stricture there." He said the rest of his colon was very healthy and this procedure is being considered just a colonoscopy. He walked out shaking his head in amazement.

The Lord did a total miracle on my husband between the time of the CAT scan and the surgery yesterday. There is no other explanation for it. Today he is doing great and having no symptoms.

My husband has learned that God loves him and his faith has grown over this time of having so much trouble. The surgeon learned that there is a Higher Physician who bypasses the surgeon's hands to provide healing. This experience has brought glory to God, healing for my husband, and a stronger bond between my husband and me.

To God be the glory!  Happy Resurrection Day! God bless,